


Celery

by LeVraiGaston



Category: Bowling - Fandom, Celery - Fandom, FNAF, John Wick - Fandom, overwatch
Genre: Celery - Freeform, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:01:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21550906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeVraiGaston/pseuds/LeVraiGaston
Summary: A grown man is reluctant to eat his vegetables.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Celery

For as long as they could remember, the Pillars had stood as guardians of the great Abyss. The last bastion preventing total destruction of everything they knew and loved, standing between the Channels in the mouth of the Great Cave, the Pillars knew their time had come. Hurtling toward them across the Wax Plain was their 12-pound, spherical doom. Wham! Ten bowling pins crumbled impotently to the floor. Reaper sighed. He was just too good at this. He strolled away from yet another perfect game, took off his bowling shoes, and started toward the alley’s exit. When he approached the door, however, he was stopped by a young man in a suit, who was holding a large duffel bag. “Salutations!” spoke the stranger, “You’re coming with me.” “No I’m not,” replied Reaper. The stranger’s expression darkened. “I wasn’t asking.” What came next happened too quickly for the human eye to comprehend. The stranger reached into the duffel bag and threw something at Reaper in a fluid motion. Reaper thought he saw a small, green rod flying towards him before the object smacked him in the face, shattering his mask. Reaper collapsed to the floor in a heap. The stranger casually walked over to Reaper’s body and confiscated all of those deadly guns and shit that he’s got going on there. That guy kinda looks like Keanu Reeves, thought Reaper as his consciousness faded. Reader heard a loud commotion near the door, and quickly stepped out of her post behind the shoe counter to check it out. After getting fired from her previous employment at a children’s pizzeria, she now worked at this bowling alley to pay the bills. Her (h/c) hair swooshed back and forth as she turned the corner to see a conspicuously empty hallway. She narrowed her (e/c) eyes and adjusted her (f/c) glasses, but the hallway remained vacant, except for a suspicious object on the carpeted floor. She picked up a small stick of celery from the ground with her (s/c) hand, took a bite, and went back to doing her job. Reaper awoke lying face-down on a linoleum floor. He grimaced, noticing an awful headache. He also realized he had no idea how long he had been unconscious for. His watch said it had been 9,678 moons, but that didn’t seem quite right. He slowly stood up, needing to lean on the wall for support. He noticed he was almost scraping his head on the ceiling of a dimly-lit circular room, about sixty cubits in circumference. His face hadn’t enjoyed falling directly on the ground, and was leaking ferrous liquid in a few places. Sitting on a coffee table in the center of the room was a glass bowl filled with celery. Ew, Reaper thought, celery. Reaper cautiously stepped towards the center of the room to see if there were any fruit snacks under the table when suddenly, a door behind him slammed open. “Hello there, Reaper! It’s time for some celery!” Reaper had no time to react before his hand was suddenly grabbed and the stranger from the bowling alley dragged him forcefully towards the table. Reaper struggled to pull out of the man’s grip, but he couldn’t get a good enough hold to break away. “Who even are you?!” demanded Reaper, as gruffly as he could manage. “I’m John Wick,” said John Wick. They reached the center of the room. John Wick pulled a folding chair out from underneath the table and pushed Reaper onto it. Before Reaper could protest, John Wick shoved a piece of celery into Reaper’s hand. “Now,” John Wick commanded, “Eat.” “What? No.” Reaper threw the celery back onto the table. Without warning, John Wick socked Reaper across the face and sent him sprawling onto the floor. He walked over and placed another piece of celery in front of Reaper. “Now. Eat it.” “No way,” growled Reaper. He rolled onto his back and jumped up to his feet. He reached to grab one of his shotguns… only to find them pointed at him by John Wick. Briefly stunned, Reaper wasn’t ready for a swift kick from John Wick to sent him tumbling to the ground again. “You need to eat your celery, Reaper.” “Fine, since you give me no choice,” Reaper pushed up into a kneeling position and tentatively grabbed the celery with both hands. Reaper lifted the stick of celery to his mouth and gave it a lick. It tasted just as bad as celery. Reaper slowly wrapped his lips around the edge of the stalk and placed it between his teeth. He took a glance up at John Wick one final time, just to see whether or not the man could actually be serious. John Wick’s gaze remained completely unreadable. Reaper closed his teeth on the stalk, and was surprised by how crisp it was. The celery was as crisp as the tusk of an elephant, crisper than a neutron star’s light on a December morning. It was as moist as a spider’s web in the pre-dawn dew, and as damp as the rainforest of Brazil after a hurricane. Reaper was starstruck by the crispness and moisture of the celery, and also was struck by how horrible it tasted. Reaper spit it onto the floor immediately in disgust. John Wick slapped him across the face. “I thought I told you to eat it!” Reaper looked up at John defiantly. “Make me.” Before Reaper had even closed his mouth after speaking, John Wick suddenly shoved the celery into the back of Reaper’s throat. He nearly gagged before John Wick pulled it back and held it just between Reaper’s teeth. “Now,” ordered John Wick, “chew.” Reaper did his best to shake his head no. “That wasn’t a fucking question!” John Wick yelled. He put one hand on the top of Reaper’s head and the other hand underneath Reaper’s lower jaw. He slammed Reaper’s mouth closed, snapping off another bite of celery. John Wick held Reaper’s mouth shut for about 0.000096032 weeks, really letting Reaper wallow in the ghoulish taste of the verdant, cylindrical, fibrous, ferrous object. Even though he wasn’t eating an onion, tears streamed down Reaper’s cheeks. “Time to swallow it, Gabe,” said John Wick. Reaper reluctantly swallowed the celery. It got somewhat caught in Reaper’s throat, but he resisted the urge to cough. John Wick let Reaper catch his breath just enough before forcefully shoving the celery back into his mouth. Reaper bit for real this time, spitefully. It tasted like a wet sock of sadness. He swallowed as quickly as possible to try to avoid the flavor. “You’re really starting to enjoy this, huh?” asked John Wick. Reaper tried to make a witty rebuttal, but couldn't because he still had celery in his mouth. Bite by bitter bite, John made Reaper eat every inch of the vegetable. Reaper collapsed to the floor, heaving sobs. “I hope you’re happy, Reaper,” spat John Wick. “Trust me, this was all for your own good.” That was the last thing Reaper heard before he felt a sharp pain on the back of his head and lost consciousness. Reaper slowly drifted back awake upon unknown terrain. The earth beneath him was moist, and leafy sprouts tickled his bruised face. He carefully drew his aching body up into a sitting position. Reaper opened his eyes and took a look around, to discover that he was sitting in a field of celery.


End file.
